Memories of An Unreal Past
by gideondorf
Summary: Bilbo loses her memory and Thorin tricks her into thinking that they were lovers. Thorin thinks that she is doing this for Bilbo's own good. Girl!Bilbo/Girl!Thorin with background Girl!Fili/Girl!Ori Rated T for emotional manipulation and unhealthy relationships. Reviews are always welcome. Made in an AU where there is no BOFA (so no one dies) and all characters have been Rule 63'd.
1. Chapter 1

'It's not outrageous!" Thorin yelled. She silenced the whole room, even the ones who had sided with her. "She has been through so much. We're just lucky that she woke up at all." Thorin straightened. "After everything that she's done for us you want her to be denied of such an important position."

Bofur frowned. "My queen," she said, "t's just that what yer doin is wrong. Bilbo isn't yer lover."

"She isn't anyone's." Thorin crossed her arms over her chest. "Besides, I'm giving her power, gold, a role of high respect. You know that after her memory loss we can't have her going back to the Shire. She'll just get lost and hurt herself." Thorin turned her head, looking at all of her company in the eyes. "And don't you remember what happened during the incident? You all yelled at her, called her a traitor, declared that you never wanted to see her again. A few of you said a few more course things."

A few of the dwarves paled.

"And in the beginning of the quest it wasn't just me who insulted her. Admit it, almost none of you held any respect for her until after she saved me from Azog's lackey."

She heard a few whispers. Some looked scared.

"And that's why I'm giving everyone a chance to start over."

The room hushed once more.

"We were all rude to her. All of us insulted her, made her feel like far less what she actually was, no _is_." Thorin eyed Oin. Even she could hear her perfectly well, having the same serious expression as everyone else in the room. "I want you to tell her how happy you were when she agreed to join us on the quest after letting strangers into her house, how excited she was to be offered a position. There was no Gandalf, and we do not bring the witch up." Thorin knew that if Gnadalf got into this plan all would be ruined. The old witch would drag Bilbo back to her Shire. Luckily, she had much more urgent business to attend to, and thankfully all the way across Middle Earth. "You were always kind to her. Some gave her extra scraps of food, others comforted her in times of need, others helped train her to fight, and others listened to her as she complained of the Shire. Tell her that she hated the Shire, that she was treated as less than other hobbits simply for being a little odd. Drill it into her head that she never liked her life there and was more than happy for an excuse out. You can blend some truth as well, but make sure it sounds good. Make it sound like how things really should have gone down." Thorin frowned. "She deserved better, and now we're going to give her what she deserves."

Ori raised her hand.

"Yes?" Thorin asked.

"Thorin," the young girl spoke, "what exactly counts as the truth?"

"Tell her of the trolls, but make sure that she is the hero, not Gandalf. Tell of the orcs as well, but we did not escape by eagle. Speak of Beorn. Mention Mirkwood and her heroic pursuits there, her amazing ways of getting past all those guards without being seen. You may bring up some of Lake Town if you like. Speak of her stealing Smaug's cup. But do not mention how we nearly fought a war. No word should ever leave your mouth of the Arkenstone. And never, ever tell her about what I did to her or I will kill you, ally of mine or not."

The dwarves nodded.

"And remember, you originally hated her just as much as I did." Thorin shifted her weight to her other knee. "We will say that she was in an accident, accidentally tripped and hit her head on something. You will not, however, imply that I caused it. She tripped and hit a rock." Thorin cleared her throat. "Do you understand me?"

Everyone nodded and said "aye". Really, what was their not to understand? A few even were still in shock at being reminded that they hadn't always treated Bilbo with praise.

* * *

Bilbo leaned into her touch. Thorin drew circles along her arm with her thumb, watching the hobbit look into her own eyes. It was silent and peaceful, and Thorin liked it that way.

Oin had just given Bilbo new bandages. Her head looked bigger under them. She had stopped mentioning an ache there, however, so she knew that she had started healing after waking up.

"Oin," Thorin said, "how much longer until Bilbo can leave the healers?"

The old dwarf paused. "She should be out in a week or two if she heals well."

Bilbo beamed.

Once Oin was gone, Thorin placed a hand into Bilbo's own and began to gently rub it. Bilbo closed her eyes and smiled.

Thorin had waited all day for these moments. Nothing felt better than simply being alone with Bilbo.

"Thorin," Bilbo said, "what is being queen of Erebor like?" Bilbo was always starting conversations whenever she pleased. Their visits were a mix of pleasant silence and conversations that Thorin could never quite expect.

"Why do you want to know?"

Bilbo opened her eyes. "I'm just curious." She pushed some of her orange brown curls out of her eyes. "Since you're gone doing it all day." Bilbo's eyes wondered to her lap.

"Well, I have to deal with rebuilding Erebor. It's getting bigger and better by the day, and many are back in work. I have trade to deal with, and with Bard and her people in Dale that's easy, but working with Thranduil? I'd rather gouge out my own eyes than speak a word with that woman."

Bilbo gasped. The look on her face was of pure terror. "You really mean that, Thorin?"

Thorin gently ran her thumb along her lover's face. "No, I don't." She laughed. "Though sometimes it feels like it."

Bilbo lay down. Thorin's hand played in Bilbo's hair, running her fingers through her long curls. Her hair shone in the firelight. "I can't wait until you recover."

"The same for me as well," Bilbo replied. She smiled up at Thorin. "Can you tell me a story again?"

Thorin groaned, but really she was happy to do so. "What do you want me to tell?" She pointed at one of the stacks of books on Erebor folktales next to Bilbo's cot. Ori had brought them over to read with Bilbo.

"I don't want to hear one of those stories again."

"Then what do you want me to tell?"

"Tell me about our quest."

Thorin smiled. "I can't say no to you, can I?" She searched through her mind of what to tell. Already she'd told of the more interesting parts of the tale, so now she decided to make something up of her own. It was slightly based on truth. "One day we had set up camp and you went and found an apple tree."

"An apple tree?"

"Yes. We were all hungry, so you decided to bring us some. Bombur didn't have to make dinner that night because you made so many."

Bilbo smiled. "Thorin, would you mind bringing me some? I don't like most of the food that the healers bring me."

Thorin leaned down and kissed her brow. "Of course. And I might just have a word with them about what they're feeding you. You deserve the very best."

When Thorin next looked at her, she was looking straight at her with pure adoration.

"Do you request anything else?" Thorin asked.

"You know that stuff that Ori keeps mentioning?"

"What?"

"Choco?" Bilbo paused and sighed.

"Chocolate," Thorin clarified. "Ori said chocolate."

"She makes it sound so good; I'd love to try it."

Thorin remembered seeing chocolate chip cookies in Bag End.

"Bilbo," Thorin asked, "do you remember what apples are? You've eaten chocolate before."

Bilbo looked ashamed.

"And if you don't," Thorin quickly added, "that's alright."

"No, I do know of apples. They're drawn a few times in some of my books."

Thorin smiled. "That's good. I'll bring you some tomorrow."

"Thank you," Bilbo said. She smiled up at Thorin. "I love you."

Thorin had been the one to first say those words to her, and at first she'd feared Bilbo parroting her words. But some of the stories Bilbo had read surely involved love, and surely she could apply those to what she experienced with Thorin, couldn't she?

Bilbo yawned.

"Tired?" Thorin asked.

"No," Bilbo said, but yawned again.

Thorin leaned down and kissed her on the cheek. "It's alright. I can leave early if you're tired. I don't mind."

Bilbo nodded. "Thank you." Her eyes shut and in a few minutes she was snoring. Only then did Thorin actually get up and leave.

* * *

Despite Bilbo being stuck in bed in the medical wings of Erebor, her days were always far from boring. She had lots of friends, twelve in fact. Every day they would come and visit her, and in between she would play solitaire and read books.

Ori would read books her. Dori would bring tea and the two would chat. Nori always had a trick up her sleeve, but she was kind. Oin would sometimes talk to her as she healed her, though Bilbo would practically have to yell back a reply to speak with her. Gloin would tell her stories of her daughter and husband. Dwalin would show her fighting techniques for when she was up and running again, though she'd doubted that Bilbo would have to fight again, remarking Thorin would jump in front of an orc for her. Balin would talk with her about various subjects, though most of it led back to the adventure. Bifur wouldn't speak to her other than a few Khuzdul phrases, small ones such as "Hello" or "Goodbye". She did, however, bring her flowers and carve things out of wood for her. Bombur would bring food; her cooking was delicious. Bilbo could connect with her because she too had lost her memory after falling into the Enchanted River. She had recovered it by then, however, and rarely spoke of it. Bilbo thought that perhaps it made her uncomfortable. Bofur would play her flute and make her little wood toys as well, along with telling Bilbo any story that she wanted. Fili and Kili always came together, and they'd tell her about their days, where more time was spending getting away from their duties as princesses of Erebor and doing something else.

Today, Ori brought her a new set of gloves.

"Thank you," Bilbo said, and put them on her hands. She already had a scarf around her neck that Ori had made her. The wool was soft and well knit.

"It was nothing," Ori said. "So, what did you think of the newest book that I brought you?"

"I'm only halfway through. Fili and Kili have started visiting me more and more."

"Fili," Ori said, "how is she doing? I don't get to see her much because she and her sister refuse to step into the library. Though that might be a good thing, because I don't want to be cleaning up whatever inevitable mess they'd make."

Bilbo laughed. From what little she knew about the girls, they were very mischievous, royal heirs or not. The healers all gave a collective groan whenever the girls would come visit Bilbo. "She and her sister have been doing well."

Ori was turning slightly pink. "Has she mentioned me at all?"

"Actually yes, a few times."

Ori grinned. "Really? What did she say?"

"That she hoped to see you."

"Really?"

Bilbo nodded. "Really."

Ori grinned.

"You should knit her something."

"You really think so?"

"It wouldn't hurt to try."

"But what?"

"I really liked that scarf you made me, so maybe one of those. Or perhaps a hat to keep her head warm. Not everyone has bandages keeping their heads heated."

Ori laughed. "Yes, I think a hat would do. Who knows who Fili would choke with that scarf?"

Dori came to fetch Ori later, but sat down and watched Ori knit while talking to Bilbo. She was going to be opening up her tea shop again soon and hoped that Bilbo would be able to come.

"Oin said that perhaps I can come in a week or two," Bilbo said.

The two brightened.

"That's great, Bilbo!" Ori said. "You can come to the library and Dori's tea shop!"

"Not unless Thorin hogs her," Dori said.

Ori laughed.

They all chatted of the various things that Bilbo would do. After a while, Ori put her scarf down and drew a picture for Bilbo. It was of her raising a sword to fight.

"Did I really look like that?" Bilbo asked.

"Your hair was probably a bit messier," Ori admitted.

"I love it," Bilbo said. "Thank you."

Her other friends didn't come that day, surprising Bilbo. She almost asked Oin what happened, but realized the old woman probably didn't know that much.

Bilbo learned later, however, when two Thorin's and Fili and Kili walked in. Bilbo's jaw just about hit the floor.

"My brother is the one with the slightly longer beard," Thorin said.

Bilbo laughed. "Oh, your brother… Yes, you mentioned him before."

The dwarf looked younger than Thorin, with only one or two streaks of gray in his hair. "The name is Dis. You must be the hobbit that I keep hearing all about. Bilbo, is it right?"

"Yes." Bilbo said. She sighed. "I wish I could get up."

"It's fine," Dis said. "Thorin explained to me what happened. Take all the recovery time that you need."

"Thank you," Bilbo said.

"He just came today with a whole group of other dwarves on a caravan from the Blue Mountains today."

"Aye," Dis said. "And what long travel that was." He stretched his arms. "I'm glad to be back home in Erebor." He wrapped his arms around his daughters' shoulders. "So how are my two little girls doing? How many orcs did you kill?"

"Lots!" Kili said.

"At least thirty combined!" Fili said.

Dis chuckled. "Perhaps, perhaps."

"Well how many orcs did you kill in your younger days?" Kili asked.

"About fifty," Dis said.

"Did he really, Aunt Thorin?" Kili asked.

"I have no doubt." Thorin said. "Though it certainly compares nothing to Bilbo when she helped save me from Azog. And to think, in the very same night I killed the damn creature."

"I remember that!" Kili said enthusiastically. "You clean took off its ugly head!"

"Really?" Dis had an eyebrow raised.

"Of course," Thorin said. "I finally had to rid the world of the foul creature."

"It was amazing!" Kili said. She was in pure awe at her aunt.

"She'd been so shocked at what happened but she took the advantage she had.' Fili added. "She put that orc in her place."

"Yes," Kili said, "six feet under."

The two laughed.

Dis turned to Bilbo. "So, you helped save my kin and Erebor." He bowed. "I am ever indebted to you, Bilbo. May you and Thorin live long together."

Bilbo turned red. "Well, thank you very much, Dis."

Dis eyed the two. "I believe that I should be going. It seems you two have more pressing concerns right now." He pulled his two boys out of the room. "You two simply must show me Erebor."

When they were gone, Thorin pulled something out of her pocket. "I sent someone to buy it for me today in Dale." She placed it in Bilbo's hands. It was a small, wrapped gift box.

Bilbo tore the cover off and looked inside. It showed small brown pieces in little ruffly paper containers. "Is this chocolate?"

"Yes," Thorin said.

Bilbo picked one up. It was cool to the touch and smelled good. She brought it to her mouth and took a small bite. It had a sweet flavor to it, and soon Bilbo had finished off the whole thing.

"I love it," Bilbo said. She looked up at Thorin and smiled. "Thank you." She grabbed aother one and put the whole piece in her mouth.

"I must apologize for not telling you of the caravans and that they would probably arrive soon. It is my fault, and today you must have been very confused to why no one visited you."

"Dori and Ori visited me this morning."

"It must have been before the caravans arrived, or it had been because they'd had no one to greet." Thorin walked over and sat on the chair placed next to Bilbo's cot. She reached down and kissed her brow. "I both had to go and look for my brother and greet the incoming dwarves. I shall warn you of when they next come."

"Thank you," Bilbo said.

Thorin smiled down at her. "You seem to be recovering well to me."

Bilbo blushed. "Thank you."

"Bilbo," Thorin said, "I've been meaning to ask you, but when you recover, would you like your own chambers or would you move into mine? If you want your own chambers for a short time, I can understand that."

Bilbo sighed. She hadn't thought of this. Thorin had told her earlier to not worry about her memories, and she didn't really have to because the company did everything the best that they possibly could to make her remember. Ori drew her pictures, other members sang songs from their quests, and all of them told stories. All of them had a personal touch to them, but Bilbo still listened to them none the less.

"I'll move into your chambers, if you'd like." Yes, she did like Thorin. She was the first person there for her when she woke up, the person who always told her the best memories, and the person who made her feel most comfortable in Erebor. "I want to experience what we felt on the quest." She sighed. "Thorin, I know you tell me that it's alright if I don't remember, but I really do want to know. I love you and I want to remember our first kiss, when you courted me, when we first made love. It seems unfair that you're the only one who can remember it. Don't you ever wish that I could?"

"Bilbo," Thorin said, her tone completely serious, "do not ever feel bad for not remembering. You had no control over your memory loss, and you can function without it." Her voice softened. "I don't want you to hurt yourself trying to remember."

Thorin had said the same thing when Bilbo had nearly broken down crying after hearing Oin mention that she might never recover her memories.

Thorin placed a hand on her arm. "But I promise to recreate things as best as I possibly can." She shook her head. "No, I shall make it better." She smiled. "You'll love it, Bilbo." She rubbed Bilbo's arm.

Bilbo ate her chocolates, Thorin rubbed Bilbo's arm, and the two sat in silence. Just as Bilbo began yawning, Thorin got up to leave.

"Thorin," Bilbo said, "thank you."

"Oh, it was nothing. I could get you some more chocolates for you tonight. And I would have gotten you some apples, but they were out of season."

"No," Bilbo said, "it's not about the food, though I am quite thankful." She looked directly into Thorin's blue eyes. "I want to thank you for coming and visiting even after your brother has just arrived."

Thorin leaned down and kissed Bilbo on the nose. "Bilbo, my brother can wait. He already has his hands full with his two sons. For all I know they really could be showing him all of Erebor."

Bilbo laughed. "Thorin, when I recover, will you show me Erebor?" After everything she'd heard about the city she was anxious to see it.

"Of course," Thorin said. "It'll be the most beautiful sight that you've ever set your eyes on." She ran a finger across one of Bilbo's curls. "Sleep well, Bilbo."

"Alright."

"I love you, Bilbo."

"And I love you, Thorin."

* * *

Bilbo began to see lots of more little hands and feet during her visits. Bombur had a lot of children, and the Ur family didn't hesitate to show them off. Most of Bombur's children tended to take after him in weight, and all were adorable. All of them were amazed at the stories the three had to tell. They all admired Bilbo.

"I want to be just like you when I grow up." Dera, one of Bombur's youngest dwarflings, said. She hopped from one foot to the other. "I want to be a burglar who fights dragons!"

"Did you kill the dragon?" another one of Bombur's girls asked. Her eyes were wide.

"You'll have to ask someone else." Bofur said. "Bilbo wasn't that great."

Bilbo rolled her eyes and Bofur laughed.

Oin was proud to show off her niece Gimli, but not nearly as proud as Gloin. Her husband came with her. Gimli was a good lass who listened long and hard to the stories of Bilbo. Gloin did make them ridiculous and did tell that Bilbo killed the dragon. Needless to say, the adoration of Bombur's children was nothing compared to Gimli's, and she refused to believe that her mother was exaggerating the truth.

Fili and Kili came less often, usually coming three to four times a day, now usually only once or twice if they were lucky, and almost always Dis came with them. He was a kind man, with many embarrassing stories to tell about Thorin. Whenever Bilbo mentioned them she would go red and remark that she wished her brother didn't have such a good memory of Thorin in her younger days.

As Bilbo recovered, she was allowed to get up and walk. She was a bit shaky at first, but soon got used to it. Everyone came and congratulated her. Her head wound had healed as well, and there was only a scar covered by her hair. Bilbo did not touch it out of fear of hurting herself.

The children all crowded around her room the day before she was set to leave. All of them, not just Gimli and Bombur's children, but also all of their friends all came in and demanded to hear of Bilbo's stories. She told them everything that she possibly could, and many times other dwarves came into help her. There were certainly a lot of questions that needed to be answered, and Bilbo couldn't even answer most of them. This was just as much of a learning experience for her as it was for them.

* * *

Thorin woke up covered in sweat. She had dreamed the same nightmare that she'd been having for months, ever since what happened. She was staring at Bard and Thranduil, the Arkenstone resting firmly in the hands of the poor archer woman. Thranduil stood beside her, completely blank faced.

And Bilbo, Bilbo had just stood up to say that she had stolen the Arkenstone. And Thorin, Thorin had gripped her hands around Bilbo's neck and squeezed. Bilbo had screamed, though the sound was muffled, and Gandalf had yelled at Thorin to let her go.

In the background, her company had yelled vile words at Bilbo. Dis would've been agered by his daughters if he had heard just what they'd said, though Thorin also realized if Dis were in the same situation it was extremely likely that he would've done the same to Bilbo.

And then Thorin had thrown her down out of anger. Thorin had stood over a small cliff near the main gate of Erebor. Bilbo, now free of Thorin's grasp, screamed. It hurt Thorin's ears.

It wasn't until Thorin saw Bilbo bleeding, however, that she snapped out of her gold sickness. She ran down and started to yell for immediate medical attention, and then told the men of Dale and the elves that she would meet all of their requirements. Two days later, when Dain's army arrived, they had to pass out gold rather than fight. A battle was avoided, Bilbo the only one hurt.

Gandalf had reluctantly left, but in the end had thanked Thorin for snapping out of her gold sickness.

And the dream had moved, in the way that dreams do, faster, showing Thorin sitting beside Bilbo's bed when she would not wake up. She'd fed Bilbo her dinner every night herself rather than letting a healer do it. For so long no one had known when Bilbo would wake, and, though Thorin vehemently denied it, if she would wake. Her nieces stood in the corner, wondering if their aunt would ever be okay. Thorin didn't know what exact night it was because it was like every night during the period where Gnadalf was gone and Bilbo was half dead. Thorin would wonder how she could do this to the person she cared so much for, the hobbit that she loved. And she had been angry, angry that the hobbit she'd loved had stolen her Arkenstone. But in the end she'd shown that she cared more about a rock than Bilbo, the very dear hobbit who had saved her life multiple times.

And the dream had moved on to when Bilbo had woken up. Bilbo hadn't been the best looking at the time (though by now she looked wonderful, finally recovered and able to live in Erebor as she should and not just trapped in the healing chambers), but it was the most beautiful thing that Thorin had ever seen. Thorin had stood over her in shock.

"Who are you?" Bilbo asked. She looked down at herself. "Who am I?"

And the lie had come out quickly. It had been a quick idea, but an important one. Only after Bilbo fell asleep a few minutes later did Thorin go and immediately inform her company of what exactly they must do and say around her.

Thorin turned her head. Bilbo was curled up with her head to Thorin's chest, asleep. Thorin wanted to run her fingers through Bilbo's soft hair but stopped herself. Bilbo needed her sleep.

On her finger was a diamond studded engagement ring. Thorin had given it to Bilbo earlier after she'd officially moved into Thorin's chambers. Thorin's chambers was a term used loosely, as very few of the things actually fit Thorin's taste. It had been designed for Bilbo's use, with some of the things that Bilbo liked at Bag End. None of them were actually from Bag End of course. There were a few paintings made of gold and gems of various scenes of dwarven history on the wall, however.

Thorin closed her eyes again. Bilbo was safe, and she would soon be a queen's consort. It was better that way, it really was, then being her enemy. Thorin promised herself that if Bilbo wanted anything from her, so long as it didn't hurt her, then Thorin would give it to her. She really did want to make up for the awful quest that actually happened, not the far too happy quest that all her company and Thorin drilled into Bilbo's head.

But really, what she didn't know wouldn't hurt her.

Thorin did press a small kiss onto the top of her head. Bilbo didn't stir, and Thorin smiled. It certainly was better to love someone than to hate them.

* * *

**I plan on trying to update soon.**


	2. Chapter 2

Only a few weeks before, Thorin would've given anything to see Bilbo smile again. She would've bought Bilbo a whole pantry's worth of food to see her gain some weight. When Thorin had first met her she'd smiled at least once (though not because of her) and her clothes had fit perfectly. After the incident her face had been turned into a frown on her sleep and Thorin was able to notice how much weight that she'd lost over the journey.

Now here she was, sitting at the Durin family table eating dinner. Currently, she was on her fourth bowl of soup and didn't look like she was going to be stopping any time soon.

"Would you like some more?" Thorin asked when she'd finished.

"Yes," Bilbo said. "But I think it will be my last bowl."

"Alright," Thorin said.

Bilbo grabbed a roll from a nearby plate and began to dig in as a servant took her plate to be refilled.

Thorin's eyes wondered down to Bilbo's stomach. She'd started to regain weight, but she still wasn't near fitting her clothes. Thorin should've realized that the clothes she'd commissioned for her would have been too small. At least they'd be slim fitting on her soon if she kept this up. The plate of rolls was still high, and Thorin grabbed one for herself before handing the other to Bilbo, who smiled and thanked her.

* * *

Despite the fact that one day Bilbo would rule beside Thorin as her royal consort, which Thorin loved to remind her of the closer the date of the wedding came, she didn't do anything with Thorin during her day. Most of her time was spent entertaining the children and laughing with the dwarfling parents who were glad to not have their hands full due to rebuilding. Bilbo also spent lots of time with Ori in the library and at Dori's tea shop. A few of her blends were selling out with tired dwarves.

She and Ori had just finished looking over some books, a lot of which had miraculously survived the attack by Smaug. Ori had hypothesized that the reason most were in good condition because there wasn't any gold and treasure inside of the library, so Smaug had little reason to go inside. The dragon also might have had other things to do than destroy the library. This was just Ori's idea, however, and for all they knew the dragon could've never even found the library and just sat around in its gold all day.

Dori brought over a plate of warm chocolate chip cookies. "How are you two girls doing?"

"Good," Bilbo said, taking a cookie. "Thank you."

"We're discussing books," Ori said.

"Do you two ever discuss anything else?" Nori asked.

"Nori, what are you doing here?" Dori asked. "You can't just come out of nowhere and start bothering my customers."

Nori feigned innocence. "I just wanted to check up on my two sisters and the greatest thief in the world besides myself." Nori grabbed herself a chocolate chip cookie and bit into it. "This is good, sis."

Dori frowned. "If you're going to stand around here then you might as well take the whole plate back to your work. Dwalin would be quite happy to receive a few of these."

Nori grumbled, and Bilbo couldn't hear just what she said. "Fine, I'll leave." She stalked away. Ori had told her that her sister had had a change of heart. No longer would she commit crime, but would stand beside Dwalin and other followers of dwarvish law and ensure that peace was kept. Secretly, Ori said, Nori enjoyed her job, but wouldn't admit it or else she'd lose a bet to Dori, and she never wanted to lose a bet.

Bilbo grabbed another cookie.

"Bilbo," Ori said, "have you heard about your reputation in Erebor?"

"Of course," Bilbo said. "Gimli has somehow convinced all the children that I am the one who killed Smaug, even the ones who heard me state otherwise."

"Imagine killing a dragon," Ori said. "You raise your slingshot and point at their weak spot, and then release. You'll need a pretty good stone to fire though, along with some good eyes."

"Don't even think about trying and killing a dragon," Dori said. "You've already nearly been killed by orcs."

Ori sighed. "Well there are hardly any dragons left, so what does it matter?"

"The dragon," Bilbo said, "tell me more about it."

Dori pouted. "What's there to hear? A hurricane coming from the north, fiery breath, big and red, and worst of all, a woman, though one with good tastes."

"But Dori," Ori said, "most recorded dragons are women."

"Please tell me that they aren't your role models."

"Of course not. Who could hold a book with those claws?"

"I just can't believe that I stole a cup from one." Bilbo looked down at her foot hair. "So some of this was burnt off?"

"It grew back," Ori said. "But yes, it looked strange, but we were glad that you made it out alive."

Bilbo wiggled her hair covered toes. Dark hair went from the bottom of her leg to her toes and filled most of her foot.

"And all hobbits have hairy feet?" It felt strange, asking a question about her own race. Yet wherever she looked all she saw was dwarves wearing boots. As much as the dwarves tried to make her feel at home, it felt strange being surrounded by an entirely different people.

Ori nodded. "All the books I've read state you do, and I've seen quite a few. I must say, they all have a good deal of it. I believe that your people treat foot hair the same way us dwarves do with our beards, with pride."

"Don't tell me that I'm going to have to braids in this." Bilbo shuddered. "And I am not putting beads and tiny jewels in this either."

* * *

Thorin was seeing Ori alone far too much than she wanted to. She hoped to Mahal that this was just about the courtship and not Bilbo. Considering she spent the most time with Bilbo since the two worked together in the library, she was the one who had the most conversations with her.

"She checked out a book on dragons today," Ori said.

Thorin raised an eyebrow. "And why is that important?" She did her best to hide her frustration; she was queen, and she needed to show respect for her people, especially one who helped her during her quest.

"She was researching Morgoth's first dragon, Glaurung, and what she did to Nienor. You do know of Nienor, don't you?"

"I was told the tale in my childhood. A dragon erases her memories." Only when Thorin said those words out loud did she actually realize what she said. "Oh Mahal, does she think that Smaug took her memories?"

Ori nodded weakly, and then clutched the book that she was holding tighter. "She just wants answers, Thorin."

"But she knows that she was in an accident! She hit her head on a rock!"

"Just tell her that it's not true, that if Smaug is dead the spell keeping her memory locked away would be gone as well."

Thorin nodded. "I will. Thank you, Ori."

She nodded. "I'll just be going…"

"And do think carefully about marrying my niece. You will be with her for life."

Ori gave an obviously forced laugh. "Yes, I understand that."

* * *

Her future wife was sitting in their shared bedroom reading a book when Thorin came in. On the cover was a skillfully painted dragon.

"Bilbo." Thorin said. How could she believe this nonsense?

Bilbo dropped her book in shock. "Oh, it's just you, Thorin! I didn't hear you come in." She picked her book up again and put in a bookmark.

"Bilbo," Thorin said sternly, "what is this that I hear about you believing your memory got stolen by a dragon?"

Bilbo's face turned crimson. "I never said that I actually believed it. I just thought it was an idea."

"Bilbo, you tripped and hit your head hard on a rock. I even remember you complaining about the pain in your head." She walked over and sat on the bed next to Bilbo. "And I do find that much preferable to the nasty Smaug stealing your memories." She wrapped her arms around Bilbo's waist.

"Thorin," Bilbo said, "after everything that I did, why would I just hit my head on a rock?"

"Because," Thorin whispered, "heroes make mistakes. Heroes can even fail, but you never did. You won, but a little accident came. And like all good heroes you can live with that little accident." She kissed the top of Bilbo's head. "Now stop worrying about overgrown lizards or hitting your head on rocks. Do you want to hear about what happened after dinner when we first met?"

"You've never told me this before," Bilbo said, interest clear in her eyes.

"Well," Thorin said, "it's quite a tale." She spoke far from the truth, but Bilbo believed her none the less. In all truth, she was just glad that Bilbo had something good to believe in.

* * *

Bilbo seemed satisfied with Erebor. Thorin had shown her the layout of it multiple times, and at times her nieces had shown her around as well. It was rebuilding, turning back into the great city that it deserved to be. Thorin couldn't wait until the day that it was truly back to its former glory, and she was ready to work to get there.

Though the wedding was still a few months away, Bilbo immersed herself into getting to understand all the duties that she would have as Thorin's consort. Thorin had convinced her to stop wearing her ordinary clothing and to start wearing something more fitting of the queen's consort. She had started small by making Bilbo wear a few strands of jewelry and had slowly convinced her to move up and up. Now she stood before her dressed in a golden threaded dwarf robe, necklaces surrounding her neck and bracelets covering her arm. She looks every bit as beautiful as Thorin had expected her to look. This is the sight that she's been waiting to see. Finally, she can shower Bilbo in gold and gems as she is worthy.

Surely a woman such as herself deserves to wear fine jewelry.

* * *

Bilbo flipped through a book on the history of Erebor. There was so much history to become familiar with for her to be worthy of being Thorin's consort. After everything that she'd done for her, she wanted to be worthy of the title. Before she'd lost her memory she had been considered worthy of being Thorin's consort, so she again wanted to reach that point. During the quest her bravery had earned her the title, but now Bilbo needed to prove herself again. As much as Thorin tried to reassure her, Bilbo knew that her memory loss would hinder her work as consort unless she memorized all she could, both from the recollections of the adventure and dwarf history. And maybe if she at least pretended to remember her journey then one day she really would. It didn't seem likely, but at least Bilbo had a place to start at.

Currently, Bilbo knew every story there was of Aule, had memorized the names of famous dwarf figures and all of their historical achievements, could name battles by heart and all the tragedies and triumphs involved, and could even name off various facts about the architecture of various dwarf civilizations. She'd talked with Ori and Balin, who had been impressed with how much she knew in so little time.

"You might as well be an expert on our race," Balin had commented.

It had been curiosity that made Bilbo ask just what about hobbits had made her odd and made her leave the Shire. She wished that she had never asked.

"You seemed scared to speak of some of it," Ori said. "Sometimes you would go so pale that Thorin would think you were physically ill. You didn't talk about it after that, and we didn't press you on it."

Bilbo felt bile rising in her throat. "It was really that bad?"

Balin gave her a sad smile. "Aye, lass. I'm sorry."

Bilbo clutched her knees to her chin. "I shouldn't have asked."

No one spoke.

* * *

Thorin simply wanted to see the sun back on Bilbo's skin. It was her day away from her queenly duties, and she planned to use it wisely. Bilbo stood beside her, staring down into the grassy hills. She did not reach down and grab any flowers to smell or to make into crowns. In fact, she barely seemed to notice.

But Bilbo… Bilbo had loved nature. She'd even admired Mahal damned trees in Mirkwood. And here she was now, staring blankly at the grass. She sat down and began to place down the picnic cloth. The only thing that she seemed excited about was the chance to eat and spend time with Thorin. As much as that pleased the queen, she couldn't help but feel regret form in her.

No! she thought. The reason that she isn't excited is because she hasn't been out in nature in a while.

Yes, that certainly made sense. Her future wife had been inside of the mountain ever since she'd woken up. It was no wonder that nature didn't bring her joy as it had before; all she'd been surrounded by was rock.

Thorin plucked some purple flowers from the ground and handed them to Bilbo. For a moment she stared in silence at them, seeming to debate whether to take them or not.

"They're very," Bilbo said, "beautiful. Thank you." It sounded do fake, and it was fake, but Thorin took that as a sign of hope. Maybe she could at least learn to like them again…

"They have a natural beauty to them."

Bilbo frowned and sat down on the picnic cloth. "But won't they die? Isn't that why you gave me all those jewels? So that I wouldn't be given something that would just quickly die?"

By Mahal, her wife sounded just like a dwarf.

"No," Thorin said. She decided it would be best just to tell the truth. "You used to love flowers. You even would pick me some." That was a lie, but surely Bilbo would have.

Bilbo stared down at the flowers in her hands. "I gave these to you?"

Thorin reached out and patted her on the shoulder. "You were scared that I wouldn't like them, but I loved them. We were on a quest and they were the prettiest thing that you could give me at the moment." She kissed Bilbo gently on the cheek. "And I thought that I'd return the favor and give you some here." Thorin gently took the flowers from her hand and worked them into Bilbo's hair. At least they'd be easier to get out then jewels. "There, now it's harder to lose them." She opened the basket containing the food that she'd packed. "So which would you like to eat first, the sandwiches or the fish?"

"The fish," Bilbo said.

Thorin handed her some of the fish that she'd packed for her, and then took a bite out of her own.

"Thorin," Bilbo said. "I liked flowers?"

"You loved them. You also had a thing for trees."

Bilbo's eyes looked over the ones in the distance. "But they're just trees."

Thorin's heart sank, but at the same time there was still something almost pleasing to it. Other than a lack of a beard and hair on her feet, she'd made her future wife a perfect dwarf.


	3. Chapter 3

Bilbo was afraid. She didn't know what to expect from this ceremony. Oh, she'd read up on it with Ori and asked Gloin a million questions, but nothing compared to the thing actually happening.

"You're going to look wonderful," Dori said as she braided Bilbo's hair. "Thorin will be unable to resist you."

Bilbo nodded. A lump was forming in her throat.

"After this, if my little sister gets her way, then you'll be going to another wedding, so don't worry. I must admit, at least Ori didn't go after Kili. Fili is at least prepared to rule Erebor if something happens to you or Thorin." She began to speak of other subjects, but Bilbo barely noticed. She was too worried about what might happen. Oh, where was Ori? She had lots of questions to ask.

"Bilbo!" Dori suddenly said.

"Huh?" Bilbo asked.

"I was asking if you were excited."

"Oh, of course." Bilbo bit her lip. "Why wouldn't I be?" And she was excited, she really was. She was going to get to marry the woman she loved. But some part of her was afraid, not only for the ceremony, but what it would promise. From what she'd read, hobbits, like dwarves, only kept one spouse. This was serious.

Bilbo stared down at her robe. It was very fancy and had taken a lot of work to get on, and Bilbo knew if she wrinkled it that Dori would have a fit.

"Dori," Bilbo said, "what is Thorin going to be dressed like?"

"Royalty," Dori said. "The reason that she dressed you up like this is to show off your status as consort. Believe me, you'll be the star of the show. Thorin will be showing you off all night."

The butterflies in Bilbo's stomach wouldn't go away. Despite that, she knew Dori had said it to comfort her. She gave a weak smile.

At her feet sat her wedding gifts. She'd gotten one from every member of the company. Bombur had given her snacks, though Bilbo didn't think she could handle eating anything right now. Bifur gave two new swords for the royal couple. Oin gave information about health. Gloin gave a locket for Bilbo, with a commissioned painting of Bilbo and Thorin inside. Bilbo would put that on as soon as she could. Ori gave her a whole scrapbook full of drawings. Dori gave her a tea set. Nori gave her advice on being a burglar, as though Bilbo would honestly need it. Bofur gave gold, along with a promise of toys in case they got little ones. Bilbo had simply rolled her eyes at the idea. Fili and Kili gave matching knives. Dwalin offered the couple tattoos, which she knew Thorin would have no problem accepting. She wasn't so sure about it, though she kept an open mind. Balin gave her tomes on Erebor. A few other gifts sat around her as well, mostly from various high up dwarves such as Dain Ironfoot (a sheath), a sack of rubies from Dis, and a few gifts from some of the other dwarves she'd met recently. She'd made sure to thank each and every person who gifted her with something. Despite the good nature, however, she was still nervous.

"Don't worry," Dori said. "You'll have fun. Besides, no matter what you do you'll be known all around Erebor."

Bilbo didn't know whether or not that would be a good thing.

* * *

Bilbo, Thorin thought, was the most beautiful woman in the world. Rather than lying half dead in a cot, covered in bandages and barely alive, here she stood covered in jewels and looking more alive than ever. There was color to her cheeks again. Her hair was styled, rather than being a messy pile of unwashed orange brown curls barely seen under bandages. She was smiling.

And she was about to marry Thorin. For months Thorin had been waiting for this moment, but finally it came. They weren't enemies, biting at each other's throat. Thorin wasn't sick and Bilbo didn't have to take drastic measures.

She stood only a few feet away from her, wearing a golden threaded dwarf robe. Her hair was styled into a neat braid behind her back with jewels and the courting bead that Thorin had given her into her hair. Despite the fact that they had to wait until the ceremony ended, Thorin wanted to reach out right then and there and kiss her. It wasn't as though they hadn't done it before, but now she had a desire to do that.

Her wife smiled directly at her.

Thorin looked down at herself. She was dressed in a blue robe fit for a queen. There was silver thread inlaid with it and her belt was covered in jewels. She knew, however, that she looked like nothing compared to her wife.

The priestess began to speak in Khuzdul. Thorin had tried to get it spoken in another language since Bilbo didn't know Khuzdul, but it was tradition among dwarves, and tradition was honored, especially by dwarven royalty. The priestess spoke of giving a heart away once and remaining faithful. Thorin didn't know why that was even spoken of, though. Adultery was the biggest taboo of dwarven society and forbidden by Mahal. The fact that dwarves who committed infidelity were so rare only added onto the fact that it simply wasn't acceptable.

And then the priestess began to speak of the promise that the two would make between each other. To everyone's surprise, especially Thorin's, Bilbo began to speak in perfect Khuzdul that she promised to stay with Thorin until the end of her days. Thorin's eyes wondered down to her feet and was surprised to see that there was still hair on them. It was easy to rationalize why she didn't like nature because she hadn't been out in nature for a while after she recovered. But Khuzdul? The only dwarf that spoke Khuzdul in front of her was Bifur, and it wasn't as though she had control over the fact with the wound to her head. And even then, Thorin had heard that her wife only knew a few basic Khuzdul words, not this!

When she asked what was wrong in Thorin's mother tongue, she quickly began to speak. This would be spoken of later. The dwarves in the crowd calmed considerably. She was the consort to the queen, and the queen seemed fine with her knowing Khuzdul, so all was fine.

When it finished, the two finally embraced. Cheers could be heard throughout the room, but Thorin barely noticed. She just wrapped her arms around her wife's waist and pulled her up, and then kissed those soft lips that she'd been struggling to resist earlier. Bilbo responded in kind. It was sweet in the beginning and slowly became more passionate. Once it ended, Thorin needed a break to breathe. Her wife was still in her arms, and she placed her down.

"You couldn't have just leaned down?" Bilbo asked in perfect Khuzdul.

Thorin shook her head.

Bilbo laughed, and then leaned in and quickly got another peck on Thorin's lips. This definitely was an interesting day…

However, once that finished, there was far more important business to get on with. Fili brought a mithril circlet to Thorin and bowed to her. Thorin took it, and then looked down at her wife. She was kneeling at her feet, waiting for Thorin to continue. Thorin gently placed the mithril circlet on her head. Kili walked over and brought a small golden ring. Thorin put that onto Bilbo's finger. Crowning was a simple but important matter. The circlet was for decoration, but the ring Bilbo would wear to the end of her days. It was different from a wedding ring, which Bilbo had been given by Thorin earlier. The ring she had just put on signified her as Thorin's consort and in a position of power.

Thorin's dream had come true. Bilbo Baggins was her consort, and that was all that mattered to her.

More Khuzdul was spoken, and Bilbo spoke it without flaw. Anyone who heard her must have thought her to have known it since she was born. But that was impossible, not only with her being a hobbit of the Shire, but also for her memory loss. She'd still spoken Common when she woke up, but if she'd learned Khuzdul before she'd shown no sign of it. This meant she'd learned recently, and she'd learned the language well.

When the ceremony ended, the feasting began. Entire tables were filled with food and more was coming. Thorin had only ordered the best from Dale. The smell of meat hung in the air, along with the scent of sweets and baked goods of all kinds.

Bilbo's small hand was in Thorin's much larger one. Thorin turned to her. "Well," she said, "would you like to eat something?"

Bilbo nodded. "Everything smells so delicious. Oh, where do we start?"

"You're queen," Thorin said, "so you get first pick. You may have anything."

Bilbo ultimately chose some roast to start off with. It was thick and juicy, not to mention it smelled wonderful. It was no surprise to Thorin why her new wife selected it. They both enjoyed it.

Next came ribs, and after that bread. Then there was chicken and fish. All the food had a good seasoning to it, and her wife took seconds on whatever she looked like. There was soup as well, and her wife didn't seem to mind getting a bowl. After a few plates of food, her wife got some wine and Thorin got a cup for herself as well. She drank slowly. Thankfully, it wasn't elven wine, but dwarven. After the incident with the barrels, Thorin hated elven wine even more than she already did. There also appeared to be some made by men being passed around, which didn't surprise Thorin. Around her were a large group of people from Dale.

Thorin had known Bard would come. It wasn't as though she could refuse the queen of Dale access, but she hadn't expected to have to speak face to face with her. The queen's name was never spoken to make sure it didn't spark a memory in Bilbo. Thorin also hadn't expected for Bard to speak to her while her wife was by her side.

"Hello," the dark haired human woman said. There was a bow and a quiver of arrows attached to her back, but they were obviously there only for decoration. She was dressed in blue and purple, the skirt of her dress short in case she needed to run. She looked nothing like the penniless bow woman that she'd once been.

Bilbo smiled, but looked confused. "Hello."

"I'm so glad for you two." Bard smiled. It seemed genuine. "I am glad that you two could work out your disagreements."

"Yes," Thorin said, and then wrapped an arm around Bilbo's waist. "We certainly are." Her mind raced to find something suitable to say. "So how is trade going in Dale? The city is doing well from what I've heard, but I want to know more about it from you."

"Dale is doing wonderful. My hope is that one day it'll be just like it was in those old stories." She sighed. "Do you remember Dale, Thorin? When I was a child my mother always told me stories of it, which she herself had heard from her mother and father."

Thorin nodded. "I'd been to there a number of times before the dragon came. It was a glorious, prosperous city. I haven't been able to see the city as it is now, but I'm sure that it is doing well."

"Certainly with your donations."

Thorin had to keep herself from looking shocked. The gold had been paid for debts. But donations, donations had been the Arkenstone to sell. From what she'd heard, the people of Dale really had earned a profit for that. Thorin hadn't been able to look at the damned stone after what it caused to her poor Bilbo.

"I'm most glad." Thorin patted her wife's side. She seemed confused with what was going on. She would explain later. "Are you enjoying the festivities?"

"Yes, very much. You dwarves are a secretive people, so it's no wonder no one knows that you all know how to celebrate."

"Compare us to elves and we're nothing."

"Speaking of elves," Bard said. From the corner of her eye, Thorin saw Bilbo's face harden. Did her wife, the woman who had been able to speak Sindarin and could recite elvish poetry by memory, just look distrustful about elves? "I heard Thranduil is taking advantage of the free wine. If she says anything while she's drunk, don't believe her."

"Of course," Thorin said.

Bard left. Bilbo looked up at Thorin. "Disagreements?" she asked in Khuzdul.

And Thorin replied in her mother tongue, "Some thought that your memory loss would keep you from being a worthy consort of mine." Thorin began to lightly rub her fingers along Bilbo's palm. "But look where you are today, Bilbo."

Bilbo smiled. "I wouldn't let that stop me." For once Thorin just wanted to hear Bilbo accidentally mispronounce one word. How could her wife know Khuzdul?

Thorin kissed the top of her head. "Of course you wouldn't. And despite your mixed first impressions of her, she is a good woman. I was glad to donate gold to help her."

Bilbo smiled. "That was kind of you, Thorin."

Thorin went red. Why was Bilbo making her feel like a schoolgirl over something that hadn't happened?

The two continued eating and celebrating. More than a few dwarves congratulated the couple. After a while, some drunken dwarves started to dance and Bilbo managed to wrangle Thorin into doing it. It seemed both had two left feet, though one (surprisingly still) had foot hair on theirs. Fili and Ori quickly joined in.

Thorin had been having a good night with her wife. Sure she had seen the elven queen, but she'd never actually come up and spoke to her. Some other elves had come, such as Thranduil's daughter and her military guard, both of whom Thorin had seen far too many times inside of the Mirkwood dungeons.

And then, just as Thorin was about to lead her wife away, who was getting tired, Thranduil had come up and spoken. Her words were slightly slurred, but it was still easy to tell what she was saying.

"I can't believe ya, Thorin," Thranduil said. She was leaning against the wall. Her eyes were bloodshot. "Marrying the girl after the Arkenstone incident? And she still wants you after what ya did to 'er? What a forgivin' girl."

Thorin scowled. She could see Legolas's daughter giving her mother a disapproving look. The red haired, male elf shot an apologetic look. Thorin just shook her head and led her wife away before she could ask questions.

Their shared room suddenly seemed much smaller to Thorin when they got inside. Bilbo was clutching Thorin's side.

"Thorin," Bilbo said, "what did that elf woman mean?" There were tears at the edges of her eyes.

Thorin wiped her tears away and pulled Bilbo in for a hug. "Don't worry," she said, patting her back, "it's nothing to worry over. The elf woman was just being, well, an elf."

Bilbo snorted. "What an understatement."

So her wife really did hate elves. "I've heard her spread lies before. This behavior really doesn't surprise me."

Bilbo began to sob again. "She said that I did something to you. And there was some stone.."

"Yeah, you're going to throw a stone at her head for me."

Bilbo gave a weak chuckle. "The treeshagger would deserve it."

Treeshagger?

"Bilbo," Thorin said. She looked into her eyes. "You have done nothing to hurt me, and don't ever let an elf tell you otherwise."

"I won't," Bilbo said. She wiped away whatever tears were left. "So, now what, Thorin?"

"Well," Thorin said, "now we honor dwarven wedding tradition."

* * *

Thorin next woke up to a sleeping Bilbo leaning against her chest. She smiled down at her wife, and began to stroke the braid she'd put into her hair earlier. The other one had been taken out, and new one had been made for Bilbo.

She was so pretty, even with her hair slightly messy and her body curled up.

She went back to sleep.

* * *

The next morning, her wife asked her a question. "How do you know Khuzdul?"

Bilbo sat on the edge of the bed. She looked at the locket in her hands, the one showing the paintings of her and her wife. "Thorin, I needed to be a worthy consort."

Thorin touched her shoulder. Bilbo avoided eye contact. "But Bilbo, you are worthy of being my consort and anyone who says otherwise can be damned by Mahal."

"Thorin, it's not that. I just couldn't stand among dwarves and not know their language. I got a few books and taught myself, and then listened to how you spoke of it."

Something flashed through Thorin's eyes, though Bilbo couldn't tell what.

"Well," Thorin said, "I guess that means that I can't have any dirty conversations with Dwalin any longer." She grinned. "But then again I don't have to any longer. I'm open for a repeat of last night."

"You're so crude."

Thorin laughed. "I was just saying." She spoke again in Khuzdul. "Well, are you ready to be my consort?"

Bilbo nodded.

Thorin gave her a quick kiss on the lips. "Then let's do it." She s1miled again, and clasped their hands together. "I know you're more than ready for this, Bilbo. You'll be fine. Now come on, you can come see just how boring my job is and suffer with me. That Khuzdul might just help you out, though."


	4. Chapter 4

**Violence trigger warning for the end of the chapter.**

Bilbo took her duties as royal consort with pride. Thorin had no need to worry about anything because her wife always made sure that things got done. That did mean, however, that she had to do all of her paperwork, even as ridiculous as the work load was.

"I'd do it for you," Bilbo would say, "but they need the queen of Erebor's royal signature."

Her wife had duties of her own. She watched over Erebor, investigating whatever Thorin was too busy to not do. She had her own work load, but consistently made sure that everything got done. It was quite admirable if Thorin could say so herself.

And she'd gotten what she'd wanted. She'd always known that Bilbo had been smart and would have been more than capable as her consort. Not even her memory loss stopped her.

Things were exactly the way that they were supposed to be.

* * *

Despite the fact that Erebor was going strong, Thorin would still get exhausted. As important as the duty of being queen was, she was tired.

"Bilbo," she said one night, "can you come sit on the bed with me?" Her wife was reading a book by the fireplace. She nodded, put in a bookmark, and walked over.

Thorin pulled her onto her lap and nuzzled into her neck. Bilbo's hair tickled her cheek. "I just want a little time alone with you. We haven't had much time for that." And Thorin had expected that. She knew that even though things were going along the path she wished, they couldn't always be everything that she wanted. As much as she wanted to spend all the time in the world with her wife, both still had work that they needed to do. But that didn't mean Thorin was going to lose the time she did have. She wrapped her arms around Bilbo's waist.

"Bilbo," she whispered, "I love you so much."

Her wife turned red. "I love you too, Thorin."

Thorin moved her a little. Bilbo wrapped her arms around Thorin's neck. Mahal, Bilbo was tiny. Considering the fact that she always made her presence known wherever she went, it wasn't hard to remember that she was only three feet tall.

Thorin kissed her cheek. "I love you, Bilbo." Her eyes no longer wondered down to her neck.

Bilbo curled her legs together. "You too, Thorin."

Thorin began to run a finger along her stomach. "I really do love you, Bilbo. I'm so happy that you're my wife."

Bilbo chuckled. "Thorin, you're really feeling affectionate tonight. What did I do to deserve this?"

Thorin kissed her on the top of her head, messing up her hair. "You married me. I've got to show that I care, don't I?"

She couldn't wish for anything else in the world at that moment. She had all she wanted. Her family was back together, her kingdom and wealth returned and ever growing, the dragon dead and gone, her company heroes, and the hobbit who stole her heart her wife.

"Because I do care," Thorin said, and then kissed her on the lips. She released. "I care."

* * *

Bilbo was asked to read over the first manuscript of Ori's book for her. She pointed out any grammatical errors she saw, which were far and few between. There was a lot more to be learned about her quest from it. Now, she was really starting to piece the puzzle together. Finally, she was comfortable enough to put together her own story for what happened.

Bilbo had been an odd little hobbit back in the Shire. She'd been an outcast among her own people. One night, a group of hungry dwarves who were leaving Ered Lindon to head to Erebor passed by Bilbo's home. Surprised at seeing such a large and strange group, she invited them inside for supper. It was a merry though laidback gathering. The company thanked her for her kindness and explained just what they were doing. She was offered a position as their burglar and jumped at the chance. Even though her life was in danger, she chose to follow those who welcomes her rather than those who mocked her. She packed up the few belongings she wished to keep and left the Shire behind for good, the dwarves promising a home in Erebor if she so desired.

They went through the wilderness, past trolls and goblins, spiders and elves, through barrels and the towns of men, and to face a dragon. Everyone had lived and Erebor had been reclaimed.

Along the way Bilbo had made many friends. For once she felt accepted.

And, after everything that had happened to her, she couldn't have wished for a more supportive group.

Once she finished helping Ori with her book, Bilbo began to work on her own. There was a lot that she needed to say.

* * *

"You've been writing a lot," Thorin commented. "Are you writing the grand tale of our love?"

Bilbo snorted. "You're only a subplot."

Thorin rolled her eyes. "Shame." She looked down at what Bilbo had written. " 'In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit'. Interesting. But why that?"

"Because before I joined the quest I lived in a hole in the ground. It's the sentence that seemed best for my last manuscript anyway. Once I finish this up I'll be publishing this. Ori's already got hers on the presses and in a few months copies will be available all over the mountain."

"I know you've spent well over two years on this," Thorin said. "And I was wondering if I could finally read some of it. I was always scared to ask you." She placed a hand on Bilbo's shoulder. "But I think that it's time I got around to reading it."

"Alright," Bilbo said, and then handed her a stack of papers. "But make sure to not lose any."

"Of course not, sweetie." Thorin smiled at her. "I know how important this is to you."

As her wife read, Bilbo continued looking over her work. The only problem with it was the lack of details and personal touch. She'd done everything that she could to get it to sound personal, but she just couldn't recall what happened. Despite Thorin's protests, she had tried and tried to remember. Nothing had worked.

Despite everything, she'd hoped that maybe by doing this her memory would return. So far, she had no luck.

It seemed Oin had been correct in her assumption. Bilbo just wasn't going to get her memory back.

And, like always whenever she had a problem, she went to see Ori. If anyone could help her, it was her.

Ori, however, was nowhere to be found. Bilbo guessed she was busy with the wedding preparations. After two long years of courtship, which had involved knitting quite a few Fili sized sweaters, she was finally going to marry the princess. Ori hadn't been lucky enough to get the wedding as quickly as she'd liked, but finally it was coming.

Bilbo walked into her study and decided to see if there were any notes that she could borrow. She knew that Ori wouldn't mind her borrowing anything on top of her desks. Bilbo didn't notice anything and decided to leave, but accidentally knocked over some papers. When she bent down to pick them up, she noticed a book under Ori's desk. She reached out and picked it up, and then pulled it out.

It was different from most of the books in the Erebor library. Not much was holding it together, but it didn't look very old. In fact, the paper seemed to be made of a newer design.

Bilbo flipped through the book. Ori probably wouldn't mind.

There were illustrations inside, which Bilbo noted were Ori's. It spoke of the adventure, so Bilbo figured this was just a saved manuscript.

But then she saw an illustration. That was clearly her and Thorin, though Thorin's beard was slightly shorter than it was now, and she was standing over Bilbo and yelling at her. There was no one else in the image, and the way Thorin's face was drawn, she looked angry. Bilbo read the inscription.

"Tonight, after the trolls' incident, Thorin made her disdain for Bilbo quite open. We nearly had to tear her away from Bilbo."

Bilbo's heart skipped a beat.

And, despite the fact that this made no sense, she kept reading. She didn't read everything at once, just flipped through pages. Who was Gandalf? Why was Thorin so cruel to her? Why was the company distancing themselves from her?

She put the book in her pocket and left.

* * *

That night, Bilbo dreamed. There was rain everywhere, so much. She was cold and scared, and though there were others around her she knew that she was all alone. She wanted to call out to them but knew it wouldn't matter. Some part of her wondered if words would even leave her mouth at all.

And then she was in the air. A million thoughts ran through her head, all of them dealing with the fact that she was going to die. She'd left somewhere, but where? Maybe it was multiple places. She could see creatures so much taller than her in one part of her mind, and in the other she could see creatures that looked just like her, hobbits. Something green and round flashed through her mind, and she wished more than anything to see that again.

But, she knew she wouldn't.

* * *

Thorin held her crying wife in her arms.

"What's wrong, Bilbo?" she asked. She held her close. "You were screaming."

Bilbo whimpered but said nothing.

Thorin kissed the top of her head. "Don't worry about it. That was all a bad dream." She yawned. "None of it was real. So, why don't we get back to bed?"

Thorin didn't sleep until she was sure Bilbo had. The next day, she was barely able to keep herself awake through some of her less interesting duties, and throughout the day she yawned.

* * *

Bilbo read the book whenever she could. If Ori realized that it was missing, she never made any sign of it. Usually she was a fast reader, but it took her a long time to digest what she was reading. Some days she could read whole chapters, but most she could barely get through a few pages. Everything was so personal from Ori's point of view.

"I was terrified in Thranduil's dungeons. Some days Bilbo would come but most days she wouldn't. I didn't have anyone to help me. It was lonely and boring, and all I wanted was to see my sisters or Fili again."

She had nightmares about what she read. Thorin had considered sending her to see someone, but Bilbo had refused. She was still able to finish what needed to be done in the day time; in fact, she was getting used to not sleeping as much. That gave her all the more time to read.

She never read it in front of Thorin, however. Still, she found the time for it.

Her nightmares matched what was written inside of the book perfectly. At night, all she'd see was pain and monsters.

When she got to the last chapter, however, Bilbo's heart just about stopped.

"After the incident, no one is sure what to do. Thorin says we should just pretend the whole thing never happened. But I know the truth, and it aches me to lie."

And then she remembered.

* * *

The Arkenstone wasn't in her hands any longer, but in the hands of Bard and the elven queen. Thorin had certainly directed hate towards them, but nothing like what she was giving Bilbo now. Behind her, her former friends were screaming at her. Tears were streaming down her eyes.

Thorin's blue eyes held a look that appeared nothing but murderous. Bilbo could hear a woman calling out to Thorin not harm Bilbo, and the woman seemed to be Gandalf. But Gandalf couldn't save her.

Thorin was going to choke Bilbo to death over the Arkenstone. Her plans to save Thorin from the gold sickness were for naught. All it would get her was a premature death. She really should have stayed back behind her little round green door.

Her vision was going dim at the edges. Air, she needed air!

And then Thorin threw her. She barely noticed, because all she could do was inhale air. Air, sweet, precious air, that was the most glorious thing in existence… Thank Yavanna for air…

It was also the last thing she thought of before pain shot through her. She didn't feel it for long, however. Soon, she felt and saw nothing.

* * *

Bilbo didn't feel comfortable around Thorin, but she didn't show it. A lump was in her throat, and she couldn't seem to swallow it. Thorin was kissing her neck, where only a few years before she was wrapping her hands around. Funny how she'd simply believed that those scars came from an "accident". That also explained her memory loss. Things were coming back to her. Most of it was only in recent years. The truth was, she couldn't even remember her own family. But she had to have one, right? The oldest she remembered being was forty-nine, which was only a few years before.

Thorin's hands were on her curves. She trailed kisses down Bilbo's neck and onto her shoulder. Her beard tickled her, but she didn't notice. Thorin whispered sweet words that she couldn't hear.

Bilbo wanted to do something about this, but she didn't know what.

A few months before and she would've been happy to be wrapped in Thorin's warm, loving, and protective arms. It was almost funny how the arms she always ran into when something awful happened to her were really the ones she should have been running from.

* * *

Bilbo couldn't sleep. She was wrapped in her wife's arms, her head against her chest. Thorin snored away, soundly asleep.

This was worse than any nightmare.

* * *

Bilbo knew that she had to do something. She had to stop this charade.

She couldn't stand to be near her wife. All of the dwarves that she'd called her friends were the ones who said the most awful things to her, the ones who didn't stop Thorin from hurting her.

It wasn't hard to pack her bags because she didn't need that much. Her wife may have filled her closet to the brim with clothing, all of it fancy dwarven wear, but she only needed the three most sensible things to wear. She brought money along with her as well, gold in fact, but she hid it well. When she was out in the wilderness she was going to appear like a poor traveler to make sure she didn't get robbed.

Bilbo looked at herself in the mirror. Her scars were still there. How could Thorin bear to touch them when she was the one who caused them? Or did Thorin not care? Was the price of her forgiveness for the Arkenstone incident becoming her wife and consort? Was that Thorin's new use for her since she could no longer be called a burglar?

She had said that she would be late to dinner that night. No one had objected, but they'd been concerned considering it was a company gathering. All of the dwarves would be there that night. Despite how busy they all were, they were determined to keep their bond.

Bilbo felt all alone. She wished to rush back to her room, get her things, and just leave. But food would give her strength, so she ate.

After she'd finished off her second plate of food, she spoke.

"I remember."

* * *

The room was completely silent. Everyone had forgotten their food except for Thorin, who was sure that she was going to release it. Her eyes were directly on her wife, who sat to her left.

Maybe she thought she remembered. Perhaps her mind had pieced together a fantasy of the adventure. The reason she was acting serious was because she thought this would be a breakthrough with everyone.

She continued speaking. "I know of what you all did to me." She began to cry.

No. No, it wasn't supposed to turn out this way.

"How could you do that to me? I thought you were my friends."

Before anyone else could speak, Thorin did. "But we are."

"No you aren't!" Bilbo sobbed, her formerly composed manner gone. "You all lied to me!"

"But we had to," Thorin said.

Bilbo stood up and backed away from her. "You hurt me! All of you hurt me!" She shot daggers at Thorin. "Every single one of you hurt me! You all allowed Thorin to hurt me!"

No, Thorin thought. I meant you no harm, Bilbo! I gave you so much!

But she knew if she spoke Bilbo wouldn't listen to her. She looked over the eyes of her company. Their answers were mixed.

"I'm leaving!" Bilbo yelled and then began to run. "I don't care about any damn laws; I am not anyone's wife and I am no dwarf, and I am most certainly not helping to rule a dwarven mountain!"

The words stung Thorin like a slap to the face.

Every single one of their expressions turned grave. They all agreed that it was time to take the emergency route.

Thorin grabbed Bilbo just before she got out the door. Her hands slipped around her throat and held her up.

"D-Don't kill me!" Bilbo said, her voice weak.

Thorin frowned. "Bilbo, I'm not going to kill you." She loosened her grip on her neck. Her wife began to inhale air for dear life. "Bilbo, I promise that when this is done everything will go back to normal." She smiled. Something slipped out of Bilbo's pocket, a book, and Thorin kicked it away. The papers broke apart on the ground, but she didn't care. Someone could pick those up. "I promise that once this is worked out I'll spend a little more time with you. Anything specific that you want?"

Bilbo gave her a confused look, and then a look of realization crossed over her face. "No!" she screamed. She began to struggle, but it did nothing to help her. "Thorin, I'll stay! I'll stay! But please don't do that! I'll stay! I'll fucking stay until I die! I'll do whatever you want! Please don't do this, Thorin!" Thorin desperately wanted to wipe those tears away from her eyes. "I'll do whatever you say!"

Thorin felt tears burning at her own eyes. She couldn't let her wife suffer. This was going to be a gamble; there was no guarantee that she'd lose her memory again, but there was nothing else that she could do. "I'm sorry, Bilbo." Thorin loosened her grip a little more. "I am so very sorry. But don't worry, everything will go back to normal after this. You'll be happy again."

"Oin, get ready to treat her!" Thorin yelled. And then she threw her wife onto the floor.

* * *

Thorin had to get Fili and Kili to run Erebor during the months while Bilbo slept. Fili and Ori's wedding was postponed to a later date, and that was all Thorin's fault. It was a stupid idea, hurting her in that way. If she died than it would be all Thorin's fault.

Still, day by day and night by night she remained by her wife's side. She cried and whispered promises into her ears, knowing perfectly well that her wife probably couldn't hear her. All she wanted was to see her smile again. Yes, that was why she'd done it. All she wanted was for Bilbo to be happy again.

At this rate neither would ever smile again.

Thorin checked for her pulse more than the healers did. That calm beating, along with her steady breathing, was all that comforted her. At least her wife still had some life left in her.

"Everything will be alright, Bilbo." Thorin whispered. She knew what she'd do once her wife woke up. She had a new plan, one that surely would work. Things would return to normal, to the way that they were supposed to be. Everything was going to be alright…

* * *

Bilbo's head ached. She felt for it. There was a sharp pain in her arm, and she yelped.

"You're awake!" a voice said.

Bilbo turned her gaze to the direction of the voice. A person sat in front of her, dark haired with a beard. Funny, this reminded her of someone…

"Thorin?" she looked so different from her wife that she remembered. Thorin always looked elegant and well put together. Now she was deathly pale, thin, and bags were under her eyes. A few more streaks of grey seemed to be in her air.

"Bilbo!" She smiled. "Oh, Bilbo, how are you?"

"Everything hurts," Bilbo said. And everything did.

"Don't worry," Thorin said. "Healers!" she roared. "Healers!" She looked at Bilbo, her blue eyes full of warmth. "Oh, Bilbo, everything will be fine. The healers will be here to fix you up in no time."

Bilbo nodded, though it hurt her. "Thorin, how did I get here?" She thought. "I was busy talking to some men from Dale about trade… They wanted a share of gold for specially preserved winter crops… And I can't remember anything else." And everything after that was a giant blank space in her mind.

* * *

Thorin remembered that day. It was shortly after their wedding, months before any of this mess had ever happened. By Mahal, her plan actually had worked!

"Bilbo, you were in an accident." She frowned. "You've lost your memory again." She smiled, and then reached out and ran her fingers through Bilbo's curls. "But it's alright, you're fine now. You'll be back to your duty as my consort in no time."

Bilbo gave a weak smile. "I'm so tired…"

Thorin wanted to laugh. Her wife had been asleep for months and she was still tired?

"I'll make sure the healers try not to disturb your rest." She leaned down and gently kissed Bilbo's brow. "Go to sleep. You're safe now."

* * *

The last thing Bilbo felt before her eyes closed was a gentle feeling running along her arm. She remembered Thorin giving her that feeling before. That feeling, that feeling of being loved and cared for, she never wanted to lose it.

* * *

**A note on the ending: I was not going to end this where Bilbo forgives Thorin for the awful things that she did. At the same time, the person who requested this fic at least wanted a kind of happy ending. This is the closest to happy that I could get. It's happy in the sense that the lie will remain as truth; Bilbo's had too many head injuries to recover her memories again. All she remembers are the very basics. Her childhood? The real quest? Gone. This is a twisted version of a happy ending. All abusive behaviors that both Thorin and the company inflicted on Bilbo are despicable and should be recognized as such. This is a work of fiction and this behavior should never be seen as acceptable in real life.  
**

**I would love reviews and what you thought, both of the ending and the overall story.**


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